Arms Around My Plate
Encouragement & Transparency for Children & Young Adults in Foster Care.
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While everyone’s story is different, my purpose behind sharing this blog is two-fold;
1. To provide some insight into how the foster care and adoption experience can impact and shape one’s life and perhaps demystify a few things.
2. To share the peaks, valleys, random thoughts, and everyday situations to hopefully encourage just one person to keep moving, to be persistent, to cry but put on sunglasses when the tears won’t stop, to sit in your mud puddle but don’t stay there for too long, to be authentic, to remove walls on your own terms, to listen, and to learn how to love.
After being in foster care for the first 8 or 9 years of my life, a family arrived at my foster home to adopt me. It was about two days into my adoption journey when on a road trip to central New York we stopped for dinner at Steak & Ale and it was my first time eating in a restaurant. When the food arrived, without thought, I placed my left arm around my plate and began eating with my right hand. My new parents laughed and asked why I hovered over my plate – as if protecting it from someone or something.
Fast forward, I will never forget how they looked at me…and their words. Didn’t the caseworker explain to the new parents that since birth I lived with 7 other children and perhaps there was a reason I guarded my plate? I know my new parents were saying/doing their very best, however that day is forever etched in my mind. At the time, all I could think of was, they are laughing at me. At some point, I ceased guarding my plate however the daily struggle of letting down my guard in various settings continues.
“Humanity is a seeing tribe
we are hardwired to use the unique power of imagination. Envision what you want: Focus deliberately on solutions and host only happy, wholesome thoughts.”
– Susan Taylor- 2004 Essence Magazine Editorial Director
Some people think I work too much and don’t let my hair down enough. I know it’s rare but I actually like to work! Granted, I haven’t been thrilled with every assignment but that’s life. I truly try to excel in everything I do. Some compete with others but I’m on a quest to be MY best self! I give my best to every task, project, etc. Mediocrity is never an option.
Posts and Articles
While everyone’s story is different, my purpose behind sharing this blog is two fold;
To provide some insight into how the foster care and adoption experience can impact and shape one’s life and perhaps demystify a few things. and 2.
My 3 Keys to Maintaining Perspective- My Daily Contributions - Constant Reflection - Influencing OthersMy Work Some people think I work too much and don't let my hair down enough. I know its rare but I actually like to work! Granted, I haven't been thrilled with every...
I am grateful for many things even when they days seem dreary. Grateful for the ability to inhale deeply and breathe in the desires of my heart. Grateful to exhale and let go of tension.
Remember January 1st 2020? Similar to most January’s – people were off living their best life- hitting the gym to cement those New Years resolutions, checking out Dave Ramsey’s content around financial freedom, napping, cooking good luck meals such as black eyed peas and removing the final Holiday decorations from doors, windows and fireplaces.
It’s been communicated that my biological mother named me, Monica Marie Garnett. I love being named Monica. It’s not terribly common, I adore how it sounds, and there’s only one way to spell it. Inserting a “k” rather than a “c” is just wrong. : )
When I was a little girl I prayed daily that one day I would meet my biological family. It happened. I also prayed for a certain career path, that I would buy/own a home and that I would finish college. It all happened.
My adoptive father didn’t talk much and when he did, it wasn’t conversational. The phrases were typically six words or less: “Let’s go,” “Why is the garage door up,” or “ok.” During family dinners no one spoke. The silence was stifling.
March 31, 2017
Children in foster care: In its last governing act of the night, the Senate voted to send a bill back to committee that would have updated the state’s adoption laws for the first time in a generation.
We are in full swing of the holiday season and I’m looking forward to the decorations, wintry weather and overall holiday cheer.
“What I know for sure
is that no matter where you stand right now – on a hilltop, in a gutter, at a crossroads, in a rut – you need to give yourself the best you have to offer at this moment. This is it. Rather than depleting yourself with judgments about what you haven’t done, who you could have become, why you haven’t moved faster, or what you should have changed, redirect that energy toward the next big push – the one that takes you from good enough to better. The one that takes you from adequate to extraordinary. The one that helps you rise from a low moment and helps you reach your personal best.”
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