We are in full swing of the holiday season and I’m looking forward to the decorations, wintry weather and overall holiday cheer.
When I was a little girl in foster care, we always decorated a fake Christmas tree. The tree was filled with multi-colored lights and sat in the traditional red tree stand in front of the window. However, beneath the tree was barren. My foster mother didn’t cook a fancy meal or set a gorgeous table, invite friends/relatives over, purchase gifts or new outfits. We had nuts, fruit and love.
The kind of love that isn’t restrictive – not what you can do for me but just good ole fashion, “I care about you kind of love.” You know, the kind of love that you know it when you experience it? Yes, that kind. The funny thing is, I don’t recall an actual lesson in love – all eight of us (Michael, Darron, David, Victor, Patty, Lori and my foster mother) , simply loved each other. We took care of each other. When Michael’s diaper needed changing, one of us changed it. When Darren encountered trouble at school, one of us helped him. When Patty hung out with the wrong crowd, at least one of us prayed. When Lori worked the late shift, we stayed up playing Soul Train or feeding the spiders until she arrived home. Somehow this was all self-directed. No one had to tell us to do it.
Although I’m much older now, like many I find myself thinking about the commercialism of the holiday season. What should I purchase for everyone? Fortunately, I paused and corrected my thoughts. Rather than compiling a lengthy list of items to purchase which will negatively impact my budget for quite some time, I’m going to take a definition of love (patience, kindness, etc.) and weave it into a list of inexpensive gift ideas. So how does this work? Maybe its helping the friend that thinks she’s too old to start a business create a vision board. Perhaps it’s babysitting a few hours for that family that needs a lending hand, paying for the person’s groceries in front of me at the grocery store, raking my neighbors leaves, reading to a child or visiting a nursing home. Anyone regardless of age and economics can do most of these things.
This holiday season and always, I’m thankful. Thankful that being in foster care taught me the importance of the season and about love. My tree may still be barren, but that’s only to the naked eye. Love is there.
From my home to yours, enjoy the season.
While everyone’s story is different, my purpose behind sharing this blog is two fold;
To provide some insight into how the foster care and adoption experience can impact and shape one’s life and perhaps demystify a few things. and 2.
My 3 Keys to Maintaining Perspective- My Daily Contributions - Constant Reflection - Influencing OthersMy Work Some people think I work too much and don't let my hair down enough. I know its rare but I actually like to work! Granted, I haven't been thrilled with every...
I am grateful for many things even when they days seem dreary. Grateful for the ability to inhale deeply and breathe in the desires of my heart. Grateful to exhale and let go of tension.
Remember January 1st 2020? Similar to most January’s – people were off living their best life- hitting the gym to cement those New Years resolutions, checking out Dave Ramsey’s content around financial freedom, napping, cooking good luck meals such as black eyed peas and removing the final Holiday decorations from doors, windows and fireplaces.
It’s been communicated that my biological mother named me, Monica Marie Garnett. I love being named Monica. It’s not terribly common, I adore how it sounds, and there’s only one way to spell it. Inserting a “k” rather than a “c” is just wrong. : )
When I was a little girl I prayed daily that one day I would meet my biological family. It happened. I also prayed for a certain career path, that I would buy/own a home and that I would finish college. It all happened.
My adoptive father didn’t talk much and when he did, it wasn’t conversational. The phrases were typically six words or less: “Let’s go,” “Why is the garage door up,” or “ok.” During family dinners no one spoke. The silence was stifling.
March 31, 2017
Children in foster care: In its last governing act of the night, the Senate voted to send a bill back to committee that would have updated the state’s adoption laws for the first time in a generation.
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